forever

i think this fb friend is right. i mean, yeah, it’s so so,,, boring to be online all the time,,, computers are like everywhere and i’m so freakin’ tired of having to check my inbox every hour,,, i mean, yeah, i get paid but,,, i guess i’m an old fella now, aren’t i? when i was a child…lol… in the good old days…lol… anyways, when i was alive, a boy with constellations of dreams, i used to go to the countryside quite often,,, it was cool… adults always made sure me and my cousins get whatever we wanted or needed to be happy… and that’s cool, coz you really feel like you’re loved,,, then growing up, & everyone pretends & the family’s the family coz they all live together,,, but some don’t even respect their siblings’ graves,,, they all cry & cry & cry over & over & over & over again…………………………..and then it’s a fuckin’ lost memory, but i’m still there, crying like a 12-year-old. believe me i cry, believe me the same discourse’s in my head, believe me i’m fuckin’ sorry, believe me this is me, believe me i’m tired, believe me i wanna give up, believe me i can no more, believe me i wanna fly fly fly fly fly fly away………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….sometimes, at night, i see you,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,sometimes i don’t even know who i talk to…………………………..you know? the other day i met a cute girl who,,, was cute,,, and spoke english like a goddess. a goddess in deadland! 🙂 yeah! and,,, i dunno,,, did you ever met people that just looking at them made you smile and be all bright from the inside… or somethin’ like that? well, that was what this cuttie made me feel… i even wonder wtf? am i homo or not? help me out?!!!!!…………………..it’s sad and i can’t get it.

i feel it’s pretty much like when you’re hungry…. you need that something & if you don’t get it for whatever reason, it is still there,,, it remains                                forever                             until you become part of Earth…..what could possibly happen afterwards?

is it music that keeps me alive? is it memories? is it letters? is it dying dreams of past lives, my dead dreams? i’ll let you know when i learn how to paint masterpieces with words, because i think you deserve the best of masterpieces, & it matters not if you’re not here, i’ll give it to the word, to time, and to eternity. that’ll be my farewell

Themonochromeman

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