the drream

two days ago i had a dream with...

“two days ago i had a dream with this porn star i like he’s from argentina and he hugged me we hugged in my rrom but before we did i was sort of surprised because i saw him lying on my bed half naked he had red hot briefs with black letters he was there smiling and then i told him i fancied him because of his face and stubble then the moment of the embrace came and it was cool because the man was quite muscular and his moreno colour’s something quite nice. there was something more about that dream and it was the fact that i could nearly touch him as if i was waken up we started kissing and he got quite excited but i wasn’t he was frotting his against mine but i told him that i wanted him just to hug me i tried to hold him as tight as i could in the end we had sex but i saw it wasn’t the argentinian but my cousin. all the images were as usual blurrred by the way they presented and by the passing of time yet the one i’ll remember the most is that amazing hug. he was a man you know sometimes i think i have a sort of fetish about this sort of guys and feel a bit guilty but seriously even if it is what i actually feel it is because they sort of encarnate a form i’ve been looking for i just don’t know how to explain these silly things of mine it’s i know like their faces the argentinian’s face is tender tender but masculine masculine with huge lips that can love every part of your body as they tell you they love you with a faraway calming accent. thad is just a mess he doesn’t know a thing he’s a mess like an automaton or a zombie or like one of those british penguins walking along the streets of our days penguins that are even in my country being born in my country looking for just no more than fortune and cash and status and strage lives he’s one of them thad and why dad i say? because the scene the dream when i woke up the next morning reminded me of my thirst for men for what it means to be a man for how hard on myself i tend to be every hour every minute every second thinking what the hell i am because i want to be a man that shares all his fears and hopes with another man in another land far far away from here and fly away from here and protect children who were or may be damaged by corrupt grownups but you will never read this and you will never know a thing and next week when i call you there will be the same senseless hi-how-are-you-i’m-fine words that never mean a thing to both of us. i’m looking for you man and that’s my life but i’m looking for the you you could’ve been and i’m sure i’m gonna find him no matter what”

Themonochromeman

“hace dos dias soñe con un actor porno el argentino que me gusta y me abarazaba y nos abrazabamos en mi cuarrto pero antes de abrazarnos me parecio raro verlo sobre la cama semidesnudo esos buenos calzoncillos que tenia eran rojos con letras negras me sonreia y luego le dije que me gustaba por su cara y por la barba de tres dias luego llego el momento del abrazo y me gusto mucho porque el tipo tenia bastantes musculos y su tez morena tambien da mucho gusto. habia algo mas en ese sueño y era que casi lo podia tocar como si estuviera despierto empezamos a besarnos y el se excito mucho  pero yo no tanto frotaba el suyo con el mio pero yo le decia que solo queria que nos abrazaramos trate de abrazarlo como pude al final tuvimos sexo pero vi que no era el argentino sino un primo. como siempre todas las imagenes se borraban por como se presentaban y por el paso del tiempo pero la que mas voy a recordar es el bonito abrazo. era un hombre usted sabe a veces pienso que tengo un fetiche con estos tipos y me siento como culpable pero la verdad incluso si eso es lo que siento de verdad es porque ellos encarnan una forma que he estado buscando ah no se como explicar estas bobadas mias ya se es como sus caras la del argentino es tierna tierna y masculina masculina con labios grandotes que pueden amarle a uno todo el cuerpo mientras dicen que aman con un acento extranjero que tranquiliza. pa es un desastre no sabe nada es un desastre como un automata o un zombie o como uno de esos pinguinos britanicos que caminan en la calle de este tiempo pinguinos que incluso estan en el pais que nacen en el pais buscando nada mas que fortuna y plata y estatus y vidas extrañas el es uno de ellos pa y porque hablo de pa? porque la escena del sueño cuando me desperte por la mañana me recordo mi sed de hombres de lo que significa ser un hombre de cuan duro puedo ser conmigo mismo a cada hora a cada minuto a cada segundo pensando que demonios soy porque quiero ser un hombre que comparta sus miedos y esperanzas con otro hombre en otra tierra lejos lejos y escapar y volar y proteger a niños que adultos corruptos dañaron o podrian dañar pero jamas va a leer esto y jamas va a saber esto y la proxima semana cuando llame habra las mismas tontas palabras de quiubo que mas bien si bien que no significan nada para ninguno de los dos. lo estoy buscando hombre y esa es mi vida pero estoy buscando el usted que usted pudo haber sido y este seguro de que lo voy a encontrar cuesteme lo que me cueste”

Themonochromeman

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